Hoping and Praying

We are hoping and praying that Isaac

has his passport by the end of this week.

Will you join us in prayer?

Thanks and lots of love.

We are still pinching ourselves that

we are actually at this point in our journey.

SO CLOSE WE CAN FEEL HIM IN
OUR ARMS NOW!

Things I have been meaning to tell you...

1. I am going away today (without children) with other Moms for some R and R. I am so excited about this little weekend adventure. Yipppeeee! I am so excited but a bit concerned about leaving Beanie with the medical stuff going on. Prayers... thanks :)

2. Yesterday I finished up the picture above for a customer- if you click on it- you should be able to see it full sized to truly appreciate it. I do some graphic art picture stuff... here is a link if you want to see more: http://boutiqueportraits.shutterfly.com/

Basically the picture above started out as FOUR pictures. I cut and pasted and move things around to make a beautiful portrait. This family will use this picture as a Christmas card. They have been loyal Christmas customers for years now and I am thrilled to "watch" their daughters grow up- they are so lovely. Their Mom came up with the idea for this years card based on an ad she saw in a magazine. Pretty neat! Sometimes people use the portraits to make calenders, or for advertising, blog headers, artwork for home or office etc. I am taking a few more customers this month since my husband is off work it helps supplement our income... just email me if you want more information: sisters3designs@aol.com

3. The Buddy told me about this great product called Monkey Brains. They have a special going on right now and for $9.95 you can order $25 worth of their products to try them all out. They are yummy, good for all, and children love them. This is for a box of each flavor of oatmeal and each box of granola bar that they have. They also have a stellar review from The Buddy and she said that the customer service is wonderful.

4. A friend sent me this blog yesterday and I haven't been able to get these people out of my mind. Please check out their blog and pray for their baby girl Olive the desperate situation that they are in stuck in Thailand with a preemie with major health needs.

Happy Saturday! Off to work out with my hubby before leaving town. :)

Hey guys!

Hey guys...

I wanted to let you know somethings. I wanted to tell you that I got my big tank of oxygen next to my bed and I do not like that thing in my nose. My mom has been busy on the phone for the past days trying to get a lot of appointments coordinated for me so that I can have my surgery soon. Next week I will have my echocardio- and then I will see the ENT the next week to have a preoperation appointment. Then they will tell me when my surgery is. I do hope to by done and back on Cheetos' well before Christmas because I think I will only be able to enjoy a diet of yogurt, pudding and ice cream for a few days. Plus I need my strength for when my brother Isaac gets here because I know he is going to say "blah blah blah" to me and throw my toys. I already told my Mom on him.

My mom is looking for a toddler bed for Isaac because she thinks his big boy bed downstairs is too far away. I want a toddler bed now too. A white one.

I also wanted to let you know that my bus driver is sick. Her name is Jenny. I really like her. My mom made her cookies. She didn't eat them. She is really sick now with the Sine Flu. Its not from the cookies. (I wave my finger back and forth when I say that.)

Yes Aunt Nina- I will trade you one glitter pine cone Christmas ornament for a new blankie. I would like a special one like Po blankie. But I really like Dora, Kai Lan, Yo Gabba Gabba, Max and Ruby and Caillou now. But I do like the softness of my Po blankie oh so much. Well its time for my to help pick up my toys so I better go now.

Love Berries and Hugs-Angeline the Bean

Funky Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday. I am 29 again. No really I am 36- but my family keeps saying "Happy 35th Birthday!"

So I am sticking with it. I do believe that I am 36- but my parents had put down the wrong year on my social security card- so its all up for negotiation- either 35 or 36 years old I am now. That would be how most of my life goes- negotiable. lol
My family chipped in together and my husband gave the thumbs up for my to buy this for myself for my birthday. Its the heavy duty model on sale at Costco last weekend with an additional $50 off coupon PLUS a $30 rebate... so I got it for a steal. I had put off buying one for a long time thinking that "I can just mix the old fashioned way!" (You know- with my muscles.)

I actually HAD to have the mixer for a couple weeks now because a dear friend posted this link and pictures of her yummy french bread on her blog. I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. So the first thing that I made was the BEST french bread EVER and also some foccacia bread. Oh my world has completely changed now that I can make bread. I never could quite get it right without the mixer. Now its so right- even though its not as pretty as I would have hoped- its so right and tasty AND EASY. Check out the recipe HERE.

The rest of the birthday day went well. I spent a lot of time catching up on paperwork and running errands. We heard that it should be 2 weeks before Isaac has his passport then he needs his Visa. More about that on a later post when I have some more details thought out in my head. We are beyond excited and my husband has been learning creole- he has the first two pages complete already.

My sister brought me some new workout clothes that are perfect. And a dear friend D. brought over a lovely new thermal tea mug that steeps your tea right in the to go mug. Its really cool and I love it. My Mom sent me a sweet necklace made from sea glass from the beach I grew up near and told me to stay "forever young". I had a slew of emails, calls and facebook birthday wishes... and I feel SO loved by all my family and friends. It was really an awesome birthday.

This weekend I am going away with two dear friends to my most favorite place... ahh... bliss!

I wanted to be sure to share this adorable picture of Bear eating his cake. I know you don't see much cake there because by the time we got back to him with the camera he had eaten it ALL. Yes... he ate the whole peice and then screamed for more. He is so stinking cute and the best eater of any child I have ever seen.

Now I need to ask for some prayers...
Of course continued prayers for Isaac's homecoming and the smooth sailing that surely will occur as the series of events unfold.

But also prayers for another situation. We were made aware of a sibling to one of our children in need of a possible home out of no where yesterday. This was the big birthday shocker of the century. I don't know exactly what our role is meant to be and we are praying heavily over this situation and trying to see where God leads us. We certainly won't leave this child or situation hanging without passing along some kind of help and guidance but we just aren't sure what the involvement is supposed to be. So just pray for answers- quick answers- and the right words and actions.

And another prayer request... for Angeline. We had a call regarding her sleep study results yesterday and she has severe obstructive sleep apnea. On average the score for a typical child her age would be 1.5 per hour and she had 36 per hour- meaning that she stops breathing 36 times per hour. This was a big shock to us. Although we knew that she had apnea we did feel that her sleeping and breathing was better since her brain surgery in February of 2008 when she had the area of non-communicating hydrocephalus. I shudder to think of how many times she stopped breathing per hour before that surgery! Angeline is also having some O2 desaturation occurring when she stops breathing. For that reason someone will be coming today with O2 for her to wear at night to help be certain she isn't losing too much oxygen. She needs surgery ASAP to remove her tonsils and adenoids. This will help elevate some of the apnea... but they also think that she has "low tone" and that she will have ongoing issues with apnea. She hated the nasal cannula when she had her sleep study so please pray that she is understanding and that we are able to get her in for surgery in a timely manor. Also... they have requested that she have an echo done to be sure that she isn't having issues with pulmonary hypertension. Prayers are SO appreciated and I will certainly keep you updated on sweet Bean and her health.

Thanks Nana

Thanks Nana for the awesome gift.

It feels great to be a big boy now...

and such a BIG gift for me-

the BIG boy.

I was SO happy about my present.

And I didn't want to be taken away from it.

Not even one little bit.

I am getting my top teeth and

I admit it- I have been a little fussy.

But once I saw my big birthday

present... I was happy once again!

I loved it so much that they put some pillows

and a blanket in it. Its just my size.
I like to play in here for hours.

This is the best present ever.

This is the face I made when they

try to take me away from my gift.

"Hmpf!! Grrrr!!!"

I stiffen my neck and throw my head back.

The drool is just an added bonus.

Sometimes I even let Bean sit in my present.

We are really "pottery barn kids" now!

Thanks again Nana.

Your the best.

I miss you and hope you can see us soon.

Love always,

Baby Bear

p.s. I like the chair too.

Emotional down pour

I am not sure what happened tonight. It was a night like most Sunday nights where we are trying to rush through dinner and make sure that everyone has everything that they need for school the next day. I baked two cakes for Bear to have his birthday cake- finally... days late... I was feeling terrible about this but I also knew that he didn't know any different and was happy to have a new toy to play with even though we didn't do the official birthday cake and celebration until today. Some of my children were busy doing their own things and I wanted to get everyone in the kitchen so that we could sing happy birthday and watch Bear go to town making a big mess of his cake. Several of my children acted disgruntled- like they were too tired to deal with the birthday celebration for Bear. They did a bit of him hawing when it came time to stand together to have a picture taken and at some point in hearing my husband tell our son to stop his bad attitude... I lost it.
"I am done. I have had enough."
I gave myself a momentary time out and asked everyone else to do the same. (Except for Bean and Bear of course who didn't really understand what was going on they just knew that they were going to have a delay in getting the sweet cake mess started!)
I laid in my bed and had a good long cry. I cried about feeling that my children are selfish at times. I cried because I wish that I could be more selfish at times about some things. I cried because I know that they are the most giving children ever but just struggle like "normal" pre teens etc. I cried because I know that I made them feel badly- just as they made me feel badly. I cried because I had anger with God and with so many people about Isaac waiting in Haiti. I cried about all those bowls of ice cream I ate. I cried about all the bowls of ice cream that Isaac didn't get to eat. I cried about another birthday song about to be sung without my family complete, without my son home. I cried because I was a naysayer at times thinking that Isaac would never get to this point in the adoption. I cried because God had told me all along that he would come home and even though I knew that in my heart it still feels far away! I cried because of the years that have passed and the dynamics that have changed in our family and the time that I know would have been different for everyone with bonding and Isaac's life if he were home sooner. I cried because I don't want to feel pissed anymore. I cried because I have anxiety that there will be another delay. I cried because of the moments I missed with my son. I cried about thinking that someday at some point he would have to produce his baby picture for a school assignment and the picture will be one where he was living in an orphanage without his family. I cried thinking about him explaining that to his friends as a 15 year old. I cried harder when my husband came and put his arms around me. I sobbed because it hardly made me feel any better. It hardly made me feel any better because I have been lugging around a one hundred pound pack on my back for many many months now and it hurts like hell. I cry now because I am so dramatic sometimes and I don't know why I can't just see the bright side of things and let all this go. Maybe the tears, the frustration, the worries are being let go in my writing this... ?

I am going to bed now to pray. Cake pictures coming soon. :)

Thanks And Joy

Thanks and Joy

How do I say Thank You?

Thank you to parents who were balanced

and giving and honest. Who taught me love

unconditional- and that kindness is the greatest gift of all.

Thank you to siblings who love me despite

my shortcomings and support me no matter what.

Who make me laugh and bring me pure joy.

To children who love me, who teach me,

who play on "my" team.

To a husband who "puts up" with even my worst

moments and doesn't mind waiting in line for

me ever- even at Target on black Friday.

Then pays for my purchases with cash

and gives me a foot rub when we are done.

I am so glad to be your princess and that

your not letting me believe I'm "just a wife".

To friends who never give up being there for me

even with my busy life and my little amount

of reciprocated friendship. Who understand

why I whine and cry and can be needy at times.

And are still grateful for the tiny bits I can return.

To a church that welcomes US all with open

arms and lifts us closer to God. Who truly shows

what being a Christian means and do so ALL of the

time through actions more than just words. They live

in HIS word instead of preaching it. And that has

blessed our lives beyond measure having a church

to call "home" and feel that way too.

For having just enough of everything

all of the time consistently.

For the people in Haiti who inspire me

and the people in Haiti who love my son.

To all of you, my friends, who pray for us

lift us up and support us with your kind words.

To Kathy C. who has shown me what patience

means and who I will pray for daily and

hope you will too. The adoption of her two children

from Haiti has taken just a ridiculous amount of time.

She has been a steadfast support to so many

people and even started a prayer chain for all

our children. Please pray for them.

To my dear lovely MAT co-workers, volunteers, prayer

partners and host families who

I adore and am so blessed to be "on this ride" with.

and how do I say thanks to having moments

of pure peace everlasting here on earth over

and over again especially during the past 72 hours?

Particularly the moment when I read the email...

that told me Isaac is out of MOI.

HE IS OUT.

Thanks and Joy

just don't seem words enough

for the BLISS and PEACE

we are feeling...

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.